By: Jenna Williams
February 14th, a day that will live in infamy, well at least for all of those non-committal folks. Me, Personally, I will be Gregariously Laughing At Douche bags (G.L.A.D) on this day because it pretty much involves 3 of my favorite things: Girlfriends, Champagne and getting drizzy, drizzy drunk. You of course have the obvious option of ordering take out, watching the latest episode of “Sh*t Girls Say” and feeling sorry for yourself. Or I suggest you face the fact that, okay, you’re single on this Hallmark Holiday, so what, strap on your scandalous “I wanna get laid” mini and embrace the day with full frontal singleness.
1. Throw a Singles Only cocktail party.Simple.
2. Paint the town red. Bar hop in your most confidence building outfit, put on red lipstick and strut your stuff. You can mark my word; tonight is the night when all of the single men and women will be out on the town and more importantly, on the prowl.
3. Hit up Tittie Bingo at the Highball. It’s inappropriate, fun and you might get a lap dance out of it.
4. If you’re bitter, what better way to get that chip off of your shoulder then a Love Bites sing-a-long at Alamo Drafthouse. And then after-party-it-up at Ego’s Karaoke lounge…don’t forget to tip your K.J!
5. Join Match.com, but here’s the catch: everyone brings over his or her laptops, a bottle of wine and you make a game out of it. Drunk Profile making at it’s finest… let me know how many “winks” you get.
6. Celebrate life. Have a potluck dinner with girls, guys, and couples, everyone that you love. Just because Valentines Day says it’s a couple thing, I say that it’s a Love fest, A Whole lotta love in one room, right?
7. Do what you do on any other Tuesday Boozeday, go to Happy Hour, load up on dollar Tecate’s at Lavaca Street, meander over to Red River and dance your face off at Barabarella’s TueZGayZ, etc.etc.
8. Completely ignore the Stupid Cupid day all together and just acknowledge the day as another righteous day in Austin. Do you really want to give into this multi million dollar-making holiday anyways?
9. Have a casual night in, game night ya’ll. Naked twister, Apples-to-Apples and someone should “Accidentally” spike the punch, it could lead to true love.
10. Lather.Rinse.Repeat
In all of the hustle and bustle of trying to impress your latest fling, last minute reservation making, scanning the HEB card aisle for the only 3 cards that are left on the shelf and picking up a cliché Russell Stover’s heart shaped candy box, come to realize what this day really all about. It’s about celebrating life, and having a reason to do so, just look at it as another excuse to get together with your closest, act ridiculous and possibly meet the one of your dreams on Match.com…maybe? So if you’re single, enjoy, if you’re in a relationship, enjoy and if you’re recently heartbroken, realize that you are the bomb.com and they are missing out on your bombness!
